10 years later


10 years ago today I woke up in my mom and step-dad’s home.  I had just finished my final sleepover.  I gathered  up some of my closest friends and went to breakfast.  We laughed, reminsiced and enjoyed our pancakes.  They went home and I began to get ready.  I showered and moisturized, did my make up, all while watching friends on my laptop at my feet. I gathered up my dress, my shoes, packed up my remaining things. We headed to my hairdressers and then to the venue.  I was giddy and excited, peaceful and in love.


Today I woke up at 6:30 to a child’s cries because he really needed to sleep until 7:30.  I brushed my hands over my husband’s back and mumbled happy anniversary.  He went to shower for work, I went to gather up our toddler.  I spent the day dealing with tantrums and a child’s refusal to eat.  I did laundry, left a pool early, cleaned, did yoga.


10 years ago, my family gathered around me, ushering me into this new chapter.  I took pictures  and waited to walk down the aisle.  The music started and everyone rushed to their places.  I waited, waited for my moment, my moment to see my husband.  Came around the corner to a man with tears streaming down his face.  I saw no one else. We said traditional vows, vows that have been joining people together for years. We were joined as one and shared that first sacred kiss.  We breathed a giant sigh of relief. We were one and the planning, the prepping, the trepidation, the anticipation had come to pass.


Today I watched an animated Christmas movie, held a sweaty, nap weary little boy as he conceded to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  I loved on our family dog and didn’t make dinner.


10 years ago, we ate meatballs and veggies, cut into the wrong cake, drank champagne and danced to Copeland’s cover of Take My Breathe Away.  We celebrated in 117 degree weather and couldn’t wait to leave.  Planning a wedding takes so much time and has the involvement of so many people, we wanted to get to our life together, the reason for the celebration.  We left in a car covered in such words of wisdom as “they’re gonna hump.” We drove through a car wash and headed home to an apartment that smelled of curry to begin a life together as husband and wife.


Tonight, I’ll drop my son off at my husband’s work and head to work myself. While my husband and son spend time watching movies and eating non-mom approved food, I’ll be waitressing and closing down a restuarant.  When I get home, the house will be silent as my whole world sleeps soundly.


On Sunday, we will get dressed up, take family pictures for the first time in 10 years.  We will ditch the boy for an afternoon movie and maybe even sneak in a nap.  I’ll rest in the arms of my beloved and give thanks over and over again for the blessed life we partake in.  Reading over the differences between this day 10 years ago and this day 10 years later, it is the perfect dream come true. What I planned was a wedding, what I got was a marriage.  A marriage to a man that always remains steadfast and strong in his commitment to me and the life we’ve created.  A marriage that has been trying, a marriage that has been magical, a marriage that continues to refine and mold us into better versions of ourselves. The difference that 10 years have shown me; is in knowing that after the low, there is always a high, so while we may not celebrate on the day of, we will celebrate.

To the man that puts up with my constant needs for 5 minutes of attention and being carried from room to room, you house all my favorite moments, all my best memories and the promise of all my future dreams.  I love you endlessly.


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