She’s here, she’s here, she’s here!!! Our sweet, snuggly little Zoë girl is here! She listened to my wishes quite well and allowed me to go into labor 3 days before I was scheduled to have my c section. Zoë entered the world at 1:05pm on April 22nd (Earth Day! Perhaps I’ll have a little granola girl on my hands) weighing in at 7lb 4oz and measuring just over 19 inches. She is a sleepy little nuzzler that loves to curl up into the neck of whomever holds her. Eli is over the moon in love with her, constantly coming over to snuggle and kiss her. He holds her hand when she gets her diaper changed and wants to be near her all the time. She has the tiniest little feet and is so very very floppy compared to Eli. Our lives feel so full and wonderful. I love this time after a baby when all the love in the world is radiating around your family.
I’m 2 days out from my due date with baby #2- the sibling, the long awaited girl, the sister that turns my baby from our child into a brother. It is such a bittersweet moment to bare witness to him changing his roles and being asked to grow and develop a new part to play in our family. I find myself focusing on all of his little quirks and habits, wanting to hold on and not miss a moment of them.
Last night while driving home from dinner, Eli and Kenny sang songs from Moana, alternating lines.
Every night Eli and Kenny lay together talking and I love to eavesdrop, hearing him talk about how mommy can go to work and daddy can get Eli chicken nuggets 🙂
He always wants more kisses- there are never enough kisses.
Telling us about Halloween: Eli will be a witch, Zoe will be a ghost, daddy will be a Halloween house, mommy a vampire.
The way he pronounces girls: guwulls and adorable: adorafull.
Every morning he crawls into bed for snuggles. It is one of the absolute best ways to start the day (you know aside from sleeping in and doing whatever you want all morning long.)
Just in case I may be falling too much in love with him, he does allow a glorious 3 year old attitude to shine through complete with shushing us when we tell him “no”, throwing emotional tantrums from lack of sleep when refusing to nap and telling us just a minute every time we tell him to do something.
This boy has been my world and completely transformed our lives. These next couple weeks are going to be an extreme stretching of self and I just want to hold on to the singleness of him a little bit longer- which means extra snuggles tomorrow morning!
I’ve mentioned my dislike of my own pregnant form and the changes that accompany an expanding midsection. I’ve complained about the extra pounds, the pain, the heavy breathing, the unattractiveness of it all. This does not make me ungrateful. That was a hard concept for me to grasp — realizing that pregnancy is not my favorite body, and realizing that that was okay. It’s hard not to embrace every step of pregnancy, especially when there are so many women that would love to be pregnant. The reality is that plenty of parts of pregnancy are neither enjoyable nor glamorous. It is difficult to feel like yourself when your normal self is constantly going and you are now sleeping away your days. It is difficult to feel attractive when you are sneezing and blowing your nose constantly. Due to a weakened pregnancy immune system and extra mucus, there will be no break in the Kleenex usage. It is difficult to watch a body morph into something completely different and foreign. It is difficult to try to find a position to get comfortable enough to sleep in when your body is needing to be supported from all angles while also needing to have room to breathe and grow. It is difficult to embrace the beautiful and feminine change while holding on to your own sensuality. It is difficult to get some alone time when someone is constantly making their presence and pressure known. It is difficult to get exercise and take care of yourself and your family when running with the toddler once around the dining room table leaves you winded. It is difficult to do the prenatal yoga to relieve the hip pain when you are in so much pain that it hurts to start. It is difficult to require an ever-changing wardrobe because of your ever-changing body, one that maintains your personal sense of style and ethics. It is difficult to be so in love with the baby growing in you and want it out so badly because of the huge desire to just get back to normal. These things are difficult but not impossible. Pregnancy is a precursor to motherhood and much like the desire to not miss a moment and to fully embrace, it’s not a possible task. There will be moments that test your patience, your will and your desire to have ever had children; and that’s okay. It’s okay to not embrace every moment of every step of motherhood. For me it’s the body change, for you it could be something else. Either way, we are all only here to support each other on the journey.